“I’m leaning more towards dumb of course. But maybe good too.”

“Not exactly following Spence.”

“Look I love Ashley, but all I know is me with her. I don’t remember just me.”

“Isn’t that the point though. Being half of a whole. We’re all looking for our better half and you lucked out and found that really early.”

“But did I or am I just settling for the first woman I was with?”

“Oh well there is that point of view I guess.”

“Kris I just want to know Ashley is the one but how do I know without dating other women? I’m eighteen years old, I’m not ready to be with my one and only forever yet. I don’t think anyways.”

“Well then I guess you know what you need to tell Ashley. But I guarantee you are going to hurt her.”

“I know. I’m scared to death.”

Kris searched through her backpack and pulled out paper and a pen. “Here write everything you are feeling. This way you can figure out exactly what you should say.”

So Spencer spent the rest of the flight pouring her heart out onto paper. Most of this she would never tell Ashley. She finally felt she had figured out what Ashley was going to hear.

“Done?”

“Yep. I think I know what I’m gonna tell her.” Then Spencer started giggling.

“What’s so funny Spence? I thought this was a not so happy discussion.”

“No it’s not but I just realized how much Ashley has affected me. I wrote her a fucking song.”

“Interesting. You gonna actually sing it to her?”

“No she’s the vocally talented one. I think I’ll just give her the lyrics.”

“Spence you’re not gonna do this through a letter right? I mean you are actually gonna talk to her aren’t you?”

“Of course I’m gonna actually talk to her.” Spencer said more confidently than she felt. Writing Ashley a letter instead of talking to her wasn’t an entirely horrible idea. It would be a little cold true but then she knew it may be the only way to get her feelings out right.

“So changing gears. What’s the plan for the next couple days?”

“Well tonight and all day tomorrow we move mom out. Tomorrow night mom works and we go out to see Ashley’s show and Saturday night we head back to Boston.”